10 Reasons Why I Don't Go to the Cool Church
2008
July
21
*This is not directed at any specific church.
- Attending is a status symbol.
- Worship is often only music because it is focused more on style than Christ.
- The church is filled with people from other churches who are “checking it out,” and 2 weeks later have left their previous church to go every week.
- The church is filled with people who left their previous church because their role had changed.
- Church becomes “what can you offer me” instead of “what can I bring.”
- As Ross Parsley told me: “every cool church has to surrender to the mini van.”
- Everyone looks the same.
- If you don’t shop at Nordstrom or Urban Outfitters you can’t be on stage.
- In 10 years, half of the church will be going to the next cool church (It is usually a long drawn out process).
- The focus on a younger generation has given my generation an excuse to be consumer minded when it comes to church.
said: 
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Tyler Braun.
oh Tyler,
I hear you…
fishbowls vs. ocean…
**stepping onto soapbox**
My stated goal is to find the fishies in the ocean without a fishbowl
That is who I AM says i am to be…a fisherwoman
I am called to design new fish food.
This is going to sound harsh.
If you are a fishy from another fishbowl, I don’t care…
See, fishies from other fishbowls come in and say “back at my old fishbowl we”…
When I hear that I just shut down. I try to say with all the love my little heart can muster “Go back to your old fishbowl”.
I’m not concerned with the type of fish food you like; there are lots of places to get fish food.
So what if the coral was brown I your last fishbowl, if the fishies in the ocean like fuchsia coral, then I’ll be adding a little fuchsia coral…
I don’t even care if I like fuchsia coral…
One of the fishies at my fishbowls felt drawn to our fishbowl because we are real, not afraid to get dirty. We also have rock worship music in our fishbowl. This fishy feels compelled to add lots of tradition hymns, because it is what she likes.
(Disclaimer: there is nothing wrong with hymns, it’s all about the heart.http://smashingparadigms.blogspot.com/2008/06/this-isnt-about-hymns-its-about-heart.html)
There are a lot of fishbowls out there, go find one that is already designed for you. I promise you it is out there…
It’s almost like I want to say IF you want to join us in this fishbowl…recognize it isn’t about you (or me).
Be prepared to fish!
**stepping off soapbox**
I hear you Dorothy. Most churches grow because of people leaving other churches, few grow because they are reaching many un-churched people. I think this is sad, yet it is a reality. I wonder how to change that aside from not being church shopping Christians.
Good post, man
Tyler,
Of course it is a lot harder than simply stating:
By designing worship that appeals to the fishies in the ocean…
By hanging out in the ocean…
It’s all about the intent of our heart…
The minute we start to designing for ‘who we already are, or who we have become’ then we spiral into a “greying church”.
I try to let the other fishies from other fishbowls know that here…we fish! Then don’t worry about them.
i fear that might have just described my church in its present state. i am thankful change is on the horizon.
Great post Tyler…I can so relate to what you shared and strive to never be or create around me that consumer mindset in church. Thanks for putting so many of my thoughts into legible words!
P.S. I read this at 1pm…see, I can comment when it’s not 6:30am
Dorothy- Good point.
Laura- I am glad to see it an afternoon comment. I won’t take too much of the credit, even though it was me giving you a hard time
interesting thoughts. i need to think about them more. but just a note…and it’s so surfacey…nordstrome and urban outfitters are two completely different styles! i suppose that would have to entail two different churches? wink. ok, more serious stuff later.
Nordstrom is overpriced. I like Ross and Marshall’s
I’m at the church they all left to go to the next flav-of-the-month……and it hurts so bad. That can’t be what church is really about.
I’m sorry to hear that Jan.
I think it is important for me to note that I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be trying to find new ways to speak to the world we live in. Call it being relevant or whatever, I do think that is important. I just think it has to be about something so much more than just that. But to just expect people to stay at your church while you are not adapting is ignorant. So there are two sides to this coin.
Our story really is not about relevancy – the church down the road is newer and a bit different but really our problem is that we’ve had a stunningly painful 2+ years and people just don’t like to be in a church that is in pain and transition. Tyler, I don’t know if you’ve read those posts on my blog. Anyway, the short version is that our pastor’s wife struggled with mental illness then committed suicide – lots of people left – we were grieving so much on many levels. Some problems arose and our planting pastor resigned. suddenly. without notice. via DVD to our congregation. this was a BIG mess. more people left. we still have people leave over this and he’s not even at our church! Many of them have gone to this one church that is truthfully most like us, but they are newer. To be honest, we could have gotten over one of these things, but it’s just been heartbreaking over and over……we are in the midst of transitioning and that is positive I think but hard too. Anyway, 2+ years of some painful experiences is not what most people desire. But it’s hard and extremely painful to be the one left behind. And it makes you feel like a failure or like nothing you did actually mattered……..it’s been tough.
So, we are that church that was once extremely successful, went through pain, and is now struggling. I’ve been on both sides. It’s humbling.
Thanks for sharing that Jan. I sense your pain even in your writing.
I can actually relate with some of the stuff my dad went through when I was in 7th grade and then a freshman in college. One involved the resignation of his boss because of an affair, and the other was somewhat a church split and the resignation by my dad. In between those was a very “successful” church. So I can relate on some level.
@Jan: Hope things will go well soon.
@Tyler: Before I put my foot in my mouth (my specialty)and give my .02, specifically what do you mean by the people look the same? Physical characteristics? They way people dress?
I mostly mean the way people dress. That was my thinking when I wrote it.
Such a great post.
I feel exactly the same. I serve at a large church, but we are extremely multi-generational and fairly ethnically mixed. That sounds all great in a very “We Are The World” kind of way, but the fact is that different factions within the church sometimes get bent on trying to make us into the next “cool”church. I’ve had friends my age leave because something seems “cheesy” or “lame” but when we do something aimed at them they feel pandered to. The old folks hate the rock and the geetars, the young folks decry the cage in which my drummer sits (happily I might add) because I am somehow putting box around the spirit of worship. I guess the drummer has the market on the “spirit of worship”…whatever that is.
Now I’m venting…
Fishbowl comment was great too.
The further we can get from consumer driven church the better.
The Epic Beat- I agree. Like I said earlier, the “cool church” is usually seen that way because of a strong desire to reach a younger generation. I don’t think that is bad, I do think it is bad when the whole church is sacrificed for that one thing. Every church should be adapting to reach a younger generation and MOST churches fail at this. So don’t get me wrong, I’m all about that, but I just think we need to be more even handed.
Ha ha – rock on Tyler. Down with the cool.
Cool post
What if your church is cool without even trying? lol
#7 Everyone looks the same.
This one really gets to me. God didn’t create us to be the same!!!
#8 If you don’t shop at Nordstrom or Urban Outfitters you can’t be on stage.
We have a running joke at our church. We had a lady call one time and ask what are dress was. When she told us the church she came from was “Nordstrom Casual”, she was then told that our church was “Walmart Formal”. Haha!
Brent-
That is hilarious!!!
Also sad…that someone really had a Nordstrom formal dress code. I can’t even afford to shop there for one outfit, much less something to wear every week.
go cre8tive chaos…
numba 5. That’s a hit in the face to some pastors I think.
It’s time to stop thinking of church as a Sunday service. I think a real church can have a Sunday event that glorifies God and has more opportunity for conncection. But when you really think about it, what does God want to see as a church?
I don’t think it’s outrageous numbers of people.
I don’t think it’s amazing worship arts.
I don’t think it’s offering totals.
I think it has to do with family and conncection.
–ash
great post and legitimate thoughts but what does it have to do with creative chaos, i thought that was for creative ideas we’ve implemented in our contexts, not a way to get people to come read our regular blog posts, am i wrong in thinking that?
josh
Hey Josh-
I think it totally pertains. A lot of creative chaos is about finding a cool way to do something within a church service. My post is about how when we become focused on that it leads to us trying to be the cool church instead of glorifying God. Obviously I’m not saying anyone person is guilty of this. I thought what I wrote was creative, but if you don’t that is totally cool.
We’re definitely trying to learn how to become a church that is relational and communal. I don’t think we’re in any threat of being cool.
The catch-22 is when you’re not cool, you’re not inviting those who will be attracted initially (one hopes) by cool. If you are cool, then you struggle with being valid, because all your effort goes into being cool. Thus the people who have become disciples leave the cool environment in search of a different kind of cool. I never thought I’d use cool that many times in one sentence.
I wish that there was a way of being a not cool church with a “cool department” that did cool, but didn’t distract from being the church that Jesus lives through and breathes into.
#10 – it would appear that our focus has become to demographic centered where it needs to be disciple centered. I think I might write a book about that. Oh, wait, there’s already a thousand.
Peace Out!
I go to the cool church. I kinda’ like it there. Sorry that I shop at Urban, but I like it there too. I still have a heart for people, I just like jeans that fit better than the worship leader guy down the street. He seems like a great guy, though.
Dex-
I’ve been waiting for a comment like yours. Let me first say this. I shop at Urban, I wear designer jeans on stage, I am the 23 year old “cool worship leader” at my church. However, I think you have misunderstood my post. I am not saying any of those things is wrong. What I’m saying is this exclusivity towards reaching young people is wrong. This giving of the stage to people who only look trendy is wrong. That is my point. I think all churches should be doing “cool” things that reach all people. This focus on young people leads to young people doing church for themselves, and I think that is un-Biblical and wrong.
yeah, I mean, I get it. I didn’t misunderstand at all. Although this is your site, I guess I just wanted you to know me a little bit. And I think your response helps me to see that you are so focused on that other church and what that other church has wrong and the un-Biblical stuff that church is doing that you don’t see me. A guy who kinda’ likes cool stuff. The cool church might, so I might go there instead. Pretty soon, those cool young people will be old people and I’ll probably still be there. Because they saw me.
So is the goal to glorify God in a new and fresh way or is it to attract people with cool things? I don’t think I’m judging here Dex. I’m just putting my thoughts out there. I certainly can understand if you don’t agree.
It might just be semantics, but to answer your last question, if you glorify God in a fresh new way then you will be attracting people with a cool thing. Those goals are one in the same. I guess I’m just on a personal crusade to end the ‘cool church’ vs traditional church vs emergent church battle. It reminds me of Tupac and Biggie.
I dig your thoughts and whether I agree or not, I need your thoughts. They are challenging and tempered with love. If I’m ever in OR I’ll look you up and we’ll talk more over dinner. I’ll pay if you ever make it to Dallas.
The God I read about in the Bible isn’t a boring dude…so I don’t think church should be so either. I think you can “be cool” and pursue God genuinely at the same time. Just because a church has some success…doesn’t mean it’s eroding its morals in order to do so. I know many churches in the Seattle area who get hit with the cool card…such as The City, Mars Hill, EastLake, etc…who preach the Bible and just have a great following. Hard to read something like this without sensing bitterness. I realize you’re not directing it at any church or calling anyone out…I’m just trying to figure out the point. Have you attended any such “cool” church in order to base your opinions? Where did this all come from?
I’m not saying church should be boring. There is a big difference between boring and trying to be cool. What I wrote was not in reference to any specific church, nor do I think the churches you listed are vindictive of doing those things I listed. There is a lot of good that can come from being the popular church in town, but to say there are no negative aspects to being that is a little naive to me (to me, not to everyone). And yes I’ve attended a lot of cool churches. Too many people go to them to say they go there instead of going there because that is where God has called and led them to.
Where did all this come from? It comes from people going to these churches to make church something church was never supposed to be, a “cool” place.
Ha! I love it.
I don’t go to a cool church. well in the 10 qualifications you put up! Although those lovely little church hoppers to appear every once in a while…
You know you’re not in a cool church when:
1. You have a 3 piece band and only one musician. (yep, do the math)
2. You have red carpet and old orange stained glass windows
2. You don’t care about the latest and greatest gadgets and gizmos; just the Lord and then people- who come and go as they please
great post man!
Great post.
Our new worship director came from a church in Bocca Raton FL, where he got a clothing allowance to shop at Banana Republic.
I think he’s in culture shock.
ive been going to the cool church for a few years now. their main purpose is to reach out to people who are un-churched to people who are new to the idea of being christens. the reason every one looks the same is because were all from the same town theres only so many stores you can buy cloths that are nice to wear to church without skulls,oh and BTW i shop at ross and i know the main pastor and his family are ross shoppers from time to time Nordstrom’s is one place they would never spend their money, their not that un realistic. And it is about what can i offer(bring) just about every person at the church is a volunteer because they want to help serve the lord and bring their skills to church to serve the lord and their church community.