Man of Depravity - Tyler Braun's posts on Church Ministry, Worship, Seminary, and Theology.

The Missional Marriage

2009 May 12

by Tyler

Last week Rose and I went on a date for the first time in about 2 months. Yeah…2 months. Sure we’ve gone on walks, and spent some time talking on the couch, but we hadn’t gone out for dinner, coffee, or anything like that. I was humbled when I realized it had been that long.

Not everyone would agree with a missional model of local churches but everyone has to agree that Christ calls us to live a missional life. What I mean by that is we are called to fulfill The Great Commission and disciple as we are out in the world.

Churches today are thinking through how to be more missional in their approaches, but I have never heard someone talk about living their marriage missionally.

The typical marriage advice is to cultivate a strong marriage through communication and spending time together in the home.

It is well known that the divorce rate among Christians is just as high as any other people group in America.

I wonder what it would look like for people to look at their marriages in a missional way. What do I mean by that? I still remember when Dan Kimball said, “everything is mission//there is a heaven and there is a hell.” Everything is on the line. But we often separate our mission and our marriages.

What would it look like for Rose and I to live out our marriage in a way that helped others see the love of Christ? It would certainly take more love and care than 1 date every 2 months. And it would certainly involve us being out in the world instead of cultivating our marriage in our home only.

I used to think that my marriage of 2 years didn’t mean much to most people. We are still young and naive to the ways of the world. But I’ve changed my mind. I think the world is watching and they are judging Christianity on our marriages and we aren’t doing a very good job.

Everyone is looking to see if we practice forgiveness, love, and selflessness (and the list could go on) in our marriages. Even my short marriage of 2 years.

What I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about is how Christians can live their marriages out in the world. I think too many marriage counselours teach spouses to cultivate their marriage in the home. But where is our interaction with the world? Where is our spending time with other couples and singles looking for guidance and support?

What are some practical ways we can live missional marriages?

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http://girlforgod.wordpress.com mom2olivia

That is soooo sweet! I am not married but I have allot of respect for you and your focus on your marriage and how you are looking at it missionally. That is a gret concept. May many be drawn to your blog and heed your wise advice. What a sweet pic of you guys! May God Bless your marriage! Robin
Yonas

Last time you’ve gone on a date was two months? Some people have all the luck.

Last time I went out on a date, Noah barely finished his ark.
http://manofdepravity.com Tyler

ha oh yonas. your time will come my friend.
Yonas

Oh no I’m not complaining. Just saying.

I’m going to be matched with this girl from my village back home anyway, so it’s all good
http://ash-nits.blogspot.com ash

tyler- i think it’s a fantastic idea, and you’re right, i think the world is watching you. the percentage of divorce is higher in the church than it is outside of it…that’s sad. and i think you can be a source of hope that marriage can work and work covered in the blood of the Cross…

and don’t worry about going to mo. it can be difficult with the lives we live today, but as long as you and rose are cherishing each other – it makes a difference. it also helps you do exactly what you did, value the date you had and put it on your priority list to make it better.

yonas, seriously, that girl in the village might be just the thing…or maybe you should just shine a little more “asian sensation” in the ladies’ direction…ha ha….
eric lopez

for starters , you all can care about others first. thats always a good place to start.
lynne

People that you brush shoulders with during the week will be watching you, for your reaction to stressors, seeing if you join in with casual gossip or putting people down, looking to see what kind of language bubbles up from your heart, observing if you are overtaken with your own cares of life, or if you’re “others focused”. So often, God allows us to endure hardships and troubles in front of unbelieving friends. If we can be real in our total inability to manage these things without Christ in us, they watch us turn our hearts to Him, and see what the Christian walk is all about.
Finding some kind of community involvement outside the church is so important, where you can meet and grow in relationships with unbelievers. The details of this can be shared with our spouses, and a common prayer bond is formed for the unbelieving friends. Of course, shared interests can be couple-based, too.
Other times, God brings people into our homes, and the sharing of our lives happen here. The world is a big, huge mission field, and I think God has lots of creative ways of using us to share His good news.
Of course, I agree that special times with the Mrs. are great. It’s also OK to just enjoy getting away together and to be refreshed in your love for one another.
Yonas

LOL Ash. I’d say Village girl will be a better choice for me. “Asian sensation” doesn’t work for the dating realm in the Pacific Northwest (maybe I should wear more fleece jackets to blend in).
http://ash-nits.blogspot.com ash

northwest fo sho….california you might have better luck …=P