To My Soon to be Born Daughter

To My Soon to be Born Daughter-

I get to meet you in a few short hours, days, or weeks. Not sure which, you get to decide.

You will make me a father for the third time, something I haven’t always done a great job of embracing. I remember meeting your brother for the first time. It was all so surreal. Over and over in my head I would question emphatically, “This tiny human is my responsibility!?!?” I’m not sure anyone is ever truly ready to become a parent, but I knew for sure I was not.

It’s not that I didn’t want to become a dad, but it’s been a long journey over the last six and a half years toward embracing the title of “father” as part of my calling. I did the #dadlife as a necessary responsibility in my life, but it was often more burden than calling.

When your mother and I did premarital counseling I told her I wanted no more than 2 children. We’re opposites so, of course, she wanted 4 children. But after 2 kids, the idea of pregnancy and labor was difficult to process going through for her, so we decided it was possible we were done having children. I was okay with this.

But something changed. It’s hard to articulate what changed, or even how it changed, but something definitely changed.

Last July I sat with your mom on our couch and told her I thought we should consider having another child if God would provide in that way. Rather than merely accepting the reality this time I wanted to pursue it.

I teach people every week about the God who loves us enough to pursue us despite who we really are, and how this same God—when we choose to submit to Him—works in ways often unseen. Our disordered desires are often radically changed by Him.

This is the only way I can explain why you are joining our family: God changed the desires of our hearts over the course of several years. You are a tangible expression of how God’s love for us caused us to follow him in a new way.

We can’t wait to meet you!