Man of Depravity - Tyler Braun's posts on Church Ministry, Worship, Seminary, and Theology.

Who Stole My Church? .4

2008 May 02

by Tyler

Who Stole My Church? by Gordon MacDonald.

As I think back on the book, there are a couple of moments that stick out to me as huge turning points for the group. One was diving through the Scripture I talked about in part 3, and another is when the youth band joins the group for a discussion on music. Let me remind you that the youth band is full of high schoolers and they are going to meet with 50 and 60 year olds (not easy for either group to do).

A few weeks before this meeting Gordon had talked about Isaac Watts, a famous writer of a lot of hymns (Jesus Shall Reign, When I Survey the Wondrous Cross, Joy to the World). Everyone in the older group proclaimed their love for a number of the songs written by him. Gordon told about how Watts was frustrated with the music in church during the early 1700s and how his father supported the vision he had for a new kind of music in the church. Watts introduced instruments to church music, they were previously considered worldly and many churches in New England would not sing his music and it tore many congregations a part. Most of the people in the group could not imagine it. The music they loved, was once the theme for a worship war. I think establishing this helped the discovery group to be open to what the youth band had to say.

As the meeting began with the youth team began, they shared some of the things they didn’t understand about the way the older generation does music in church.

Why were they so serious and never happy?
They are always too busy being frustrated with the music that they never worshiped.
There is no excitement in the singing.
A lot of the words in the songs don’t make sense.
The style of music is nothing close to what people listen to during the week.

Both groups talked about these things for a while. It forced the older group to think about why their favorite music wouldn’t make sense to someone younger. It also forced the younger group to think about how they could incorporate some “traditional” songs in their sets in a fresh way (a week after the meeting, the youth band led Come Thou Fount with a more upbeat feel).

That meeting ended with an embrace between the generations. I have to doubt whether that is really realistic, but the fact that two totally different age groups were able to share their music frustrations with one another is a step that most churches don’t ever take. I wonder whose job it is to reach out…should older or younger people reach out to the other first? I struggle with this a lot.

I’ve been a part of music in church for a while at different churches. I have never, ever had someone older than 50 reach out to me to discuss worship and my thoughts on music in church. The older generation loves to complain about us young people and I love to complain about how stubborn older people are with music…BUT neither side ever reaches out to the other. Until this changes, the divide between the two groups will continue to grow.

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http://www.sovannsblog.blogspot.com Sovann

“I wonder whose job it is to reach out…should older or younger people reach out to the other first?”

I think it starts with the leadership.
But you’re right, neither side reaches out to the other.
It’s kind of weird Julie and I are part of the older crowd at GBC (i’d guess 80 percent are under 30 yrs old at GBC) but definately with the younger side of things re: music, expression and creativity in worship. I think the divide is not just with age but with how conservative people are and their ideas about what worship is, which leads back again to leadership and teaching on worship.

Worship can be such a personal, intimate, vulnerable thing and I’ve seen people discussions on this quickly become defensive. To do this well would require a tremendous trust and commitment to honoring and gracing one another. Do we really esteem and respect people who look, act and live in a different life stage than us? Do we really humbly consider others better than ourselves when it comes to worship?
I know this is something that is difficult for me.
Yonas

Tyler,
Been following your blog lately…fun read….

My humble .02:

To reach out means you have to go out of your comfort zone.

Both young and older generation have their own hangups about this, whether fear of rejection, pride, communication style, etc.

I consider myself somewhat in between. I’d like to think I can see it from both sides. The only thing that I may become defensive about is when one says one type of worship is better than the other, etc. I have touched on this matter before and I grow up (heavy influence: My dad) with an idea that there needs to be balance in everything…including worship.

Interestingly sometimes I think it has nothing to do with age or generation. I’ve talked to some young people who are open to work together and I’ve worked with people from older generation (still do) who see eye-to-eye with me on worship issue. I’ve also been in situation where I couldn’t even get passed my first sentence and quickly shot down with “Nope, that’s not what we do” and briefly lectured me on some technicality why things are done certain way.

How responsive people to your reach out effort is also influenced by how credible you are in their mind or what kind of rapport you’ve built with them.
Miranda

“BUT neither side ever reaches out to the other”

Actually, just a few weekends ago, I deliberately went up to an older member of our church and asked her what her thoughts were about the music that day and, and just the music in general, and I was very surprised what happened. At first, she seemed puzzled that I would ask her input, but quickly started to give me her thoughts. We talked for about a 1/2 hour in between services. The normal traditional vs. contemporary discussion came up along with volume issues, etc., but what surprised me the most was that she just wanted to worship God just like I did.

I think us young people are hesitant to have in depth conversations with older generations because their views can be so much different than ours, but someone has to take the first step to help bridge the gap.
http://manofdepravity.com Tyler

Sovann-Totally agree with everything you said. Nothing about reaching out is easy.

Yonas-It does certainly help to have a previous relationship with someone rather than just showing your thoughts without someone knowing you.

Miranda-That is awesome. I tend to think that the older generation should desire to pass the baton well and it would be therefore their job to reach out…but that is very cool that you did.
http://newheights.wordpress.com/ Darin

Tyler,

I think that this is the best way to deal with the situation. In my personal experience and training putting people in the other person’s shoes is always best. Helping them to understand why the other thinks that way for me has been the best way to see progress.

For us it was taking a step back with the worship. Volume down and a different mix of music. When one side takes the step to say I here you in my experience the other says I will listen.

Now that depends on past treatment but I do think it has the best hope of helping the situation.

Anyway, that isn’t even .02 worth but I felt I needed a follow up based on my last comment.

Hey by the way I enjoy your blog and your insight. The links are always great. Thanks from a guy you have never met.