Serving Millennials on the Journey Toward Significant Life
Sign up to receive blog posts via email and receive a free eBook!

My #MeToo Story

As a preface, here’s some backstory on #metoo and why it has gone viral in the past few days.

I hesitate to share my #metoo story because so many women have been so brave, and I don’t want to come in and mansplain things here. However, the bravery of so many women has encouraged me to share my personal story connected to this.

Late in high school, a guy in his mid30s started helping as a leader at my church. He used a carefree attitude to suck in me & my friends. We can have fun at church? I’m game for that.

As a pastor’s kid at a large church, I was often approached by adults who wanted to be serious, because, for them, church was a big deal. To encounter someone who wanted to have fun was rare and something I grabbed onto. But this was a ploy. First, it was inviting us to his house. Then it was buying us stuff. Then it was encouraging us that having one drink w/ him was okay.

All these were little tactics to get us to trust him, get us a little closer. Then came the soft-porn movies, sexually explicit conversations.

His tactics were the very worst in my book—using assumed spiritual authority to bait young men into impossibly comprising situations.

It was not until he made his move on me that I realized what he was doing, that I wasn’t the only one. It was all calculated. I had no idea how to respond to this. Do I say something? Do I tell my friends? I had assumed he was trustworthy, godly, worth listening to, worth spending time with. In reality, he was a gay man preying on me.

While much has been made of the Catholic Church’s abuse scandal, evangelical churches are not immune to the same issue. Power often corrupts, even in the church. I am now a pastor prone toward cynicism about the church, because of one misguided man.

  • Share on Tumblr

Covenant > Compatibility

Often in marriage compatibility is seen as the goal for a couple. Find your match, learn to love them, then commit to them for a lifetime. It’s not that compatibility has no place in marriage, but prioritizing it over the commitment of marriage misses the mark.

Walter Brueggemann phrases the prioritizing of marriage by saying, “We do not fall in love and then get married. We get married and then learn what love requires.” I’ve shared those words with every couple I’ve had the privilege of marrying at their wedding ceremony.

Though these words from Brueggemann are rarely adopted, they are astounding nonetheless. They highlight the great value of covenants in our lives. Operating in covenant relationship with another is one of the most sanctifying works in life.

Consider how this relates to your interaction with a church. Most often we look for a place that feels comfortable, seeking compatibility. But if compatibility becomes the highest goal, we only massage our own personal bent, rather than allowing the friction of covenant to produce growth.

In his book Uncomfortable, Brett McCracken describes the work covenants do to us:

“Covenants are never easy and rarely comfortable. Every marriage testifies to this, as does the roller-coaster history of ‘prone to wander’ Israel. Yet covenants do something that is far more constructive than anything comfort can do. Covenants challenge us to bear with and sacrifice for the sake of others, for the glory of God” (pg. 183).

Covenants not only connect us tightly with others but also to Christ, who has stayed true to us despite the lack of compatibility. Covenants protect us from allowing our lives to be led by our ever-confused desires.

Yes, covenants present challenge and struggle, but they are the ground in which God cultivates sanctifying growth within our lives. Compatibility has its place, but covenants supersede their importance.

Covenant > Compatibility.

  • Share on Tumblr

Called Out Episode 002: Brett McCracken

called out episodes

We are a society driven by individual curation. Just last week Spotify announced a new throwback playlist, created for every user based on their current favorite songs. Whether it’s a music playlist or your morning coffee or your daily news, everything is built around your preferences and interests.

2 years ago I had lunch with Brett McCracken and he shared with me about stepping into leadership at a church that he originally didn’t even like that much. It was foreign to all his previous church experiences, and ultimately that’s why he and his wife Kira decided to call that church home—because it pushed against their preferences.

Today’s episode features Brett and me talking about that church experience, as well as some of his writing as a film critic, and being a Christian in the age of Trump.

You can listen to the full episode below (click through to listen email readers):


Or find the episode wherever you listen to podcasts, including:

Apple Podcasts || Soundcloud || Stitcher || Overcast

You can pick up a copy of Brett McCracken’s new book Uncomfortable here.

Thanks for listening! If you enjoy what you hear please rate and review the podcast wherever you listen.

  • Share on Tumblr

The Balaam Trap

From Tyler: I write for a daily devotional, which you can pick up for $5 here. We’re slowly building to having it be a year-long devotional, so it’s well worth your money. Here’s a recent post I wrote for it. 

“They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of Balaam son of Bezer, who loved the wages of wickedness.” 2nd Peter 2:15

Numbers 22-24 tells one of the funniest stories in the Bible. In the story we’re introduced to two main characters: Balaam and Balak.

Balak: king ruling a nation directly north of the Israelites in their conquest through The Promised Land God had given them.
Balaam: world-renowned false prophet the Bible describes as a diviner (meaning he talks to God).

King Balak, in his worry about the impending doom coming to his people, offers to hire Balaam to curse Israel. Balaam declines. Balak ups his offer considerably, and the extra money sways Balaam. He agrees to help King Balak with the condition that he can only speak the words God gives him.

On Balaam’s journey toward the capital city of Balak’s nation, he rides a donkey who on three separate occasions sees an angel of the Lord blocking the road. The donkey ends up throwing Balaam off the road into a ditch and into a wall. Here is the world-renowned “man of god” who cannot notice God’s messenger, and yet the donkey can.

After being hired to curse the nation of Israel, Balaam is only able to speak words of blessing over God’s people, to King Balak’s dismay. They move from mountain to mountain, giving an endless array of sacrifices, trying to provoke the God of the universe to go against His people. But God only gives Balaam words of blessing.

King Balak’s plan fails. The Israelites prevail. Balak and Balaam go down in history books as fools. God’s blessing cannot be bought and proclaiming you are God’s prophet doesn’t make it real.

Two things jump off the page from this story:

– God loves to bless His people.
– Words without action are cheap.

In the book of Revelation, one of the churches spoken of is referred to as being like Balaam, meaning they were prone to sinful ways because their faith was fake (Revelation 2:14).

They were all talk.

Are you?

Don’t fall for the Balaam trap—real faith inspired by God at work within, always extends to real action, real love, real care, toward those beyond yourself.

  • Share on Tumblr

The Faceless Enemy

A while back I had the opportunity to see Dunkirk in theaters. While I thought the film was exceptional, I will say for a first watch it was difficult to follow. The film features three separate storylines that all connect in places, but the film has little chronological cohesion. Weaving between these three storylines makes it difficult to know the order of events taking place.

dunkirk-movie-preview-01_featureWhere the film shines is in overwhelming the viewer. The lack of chronological cohesion, mixed with it probably being the loudest movie I’ve ever seen in theaters, discombobulated me. The musical score helped create tension even where the film presented none. And the enemy’s face was never shown, only seen in the form of airplanes dropping bombs and bullets being fired from various directions.

I walked out of the theater hardly remembering where I was, totally disoriented, shell-shocked. While I’ve read some reviews declaring some of these techniques as poor storytelling, I think Christopher Nolan achieved his goal: make the viewer feel as overwhelmed and anxious as a soldier on the beach of Dunkirk.

Often times the goal of the enemy is not to kill you, but to disorient you, disordering your life so that you worry about your next step. From there, the enemy can have its way. You see this disorientation in a nameless soldier played by Cillian Murphy, who is unable to even answer basic questions from his rescuers.

During the entire film you are thrust into the anxiety of knowing you are a sitting duck, surrounded by the enemy, incapable of saving yourself. Even when the obvious danger relents, the pressure never releases.

It reminds me that our lives are thrust into a battle, against an unseen enemy, who often prefers to disorder our lives rather than ending them. In fact, in this battle the enemy disorders us enough that we kill each other, losing sight of the image of God in others. The Apostle Peter describes this lurking enemy, by saying,

“Stay alert! Watch out! Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, searching for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8, TLV).

This adversary is as strong as a roaring lion, to be feared more than any other wild animal. Yet it also prowls, often unseen, looking for the window of opportunity to open. Out in the open, on your own, you become its prey.

But there’s another element to this roaring lion. Its strength gives us fear, yes, but the sheer terror of any possible attack is what disorients us most. We often think of the worst evil as overt, directly in front of us, on the news, but the Apostle Paul reminds us we are in a battle far beyond what we can see or touch:

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12).

Much could be said about what Paul means when he refers to “rulers” and “authorities” and “powers of this dark world” and “spiritual forces of evil,” but I think it would be fair to say he’s referring to the existence of evil things, things opposed to God, operating below the surface.

Murders, war, genocide, racism, classism, all examples of injustice, these only begin to exist when pride and greed and selfishness are allowed to run rampant underneath the surface. And these only run rampant when Satan is given an opportunity. These oft-hidden evils can only lurk beneath the surface for so long before shadow shows its ugly face in the daylight.

Before we get too proud ourselves, we recognize this same evil prowls around us, lurking, looking for the window of opportunity. We too, are on the beach of Dunkirk, surrounded by bullets and beach, our lives hanging in the balance.

How can we fight this great war? What tools has God given us to overcome?

God’s Word is clear, we only need a few things to fight and win this battle:

  • We need each other.
  • We need the armor of God.
  • We need to recognize our need.
  • Share on Tumblr

Called Out Episode 001: Anxiety

Copy of called out

Studies show 40 million Americans struggle with some form of anxiety, yet when it comes to an issue so many feel burdened by the church is largely silent.

I’m excited to share with you the first full-length episode of Called Out, my new podcast. Today’s episode is on the subject of anxiety, and was really the inspiration behind starting a podcast. The podcast medium is great for telling stories and because anxiety is an often ignored subject, I thought telling the stories of people who have struggled with anxiety was a great place to start.

You can listen to the episode below (click through to listen email readers):


Or find the episode wherever you listen to podcasts, including:

Apple Podcasts || Soundcloud || Stitcher || Overcast

Here are some links discussed in the episode:

Thanks for listening and sharing this episode. If you would take the time to rate and review the show wherever you listen, it would be greatly appreciated!

  • Share on Tumblr
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © 2014 by Tyler Braun. Designed and coded by Paul Bae...