How to Look Like a Worship Leader
I ran across a post today by Prodigal Jon @Stuff Christians Like thanks to Joc. It was a post giving a guide to knowing how metrosexual your worship leader. I thought I’d take a look to see how I score on his ratings system of how metro sexual I am as a worship leader. I hope to get Jay to tackle this….because I’d love to see which one of us is worse (worse meaning more metro).
If you don’t know what metro means, Wikipedia defined it as this: straight men with a strong concern for their appearance, and a heightened aesthetic sense.
Well, here goes (I’ll only keep score for the ones that apply to me):
3. Has Rob Bell, black rimmed glasses = +1
I have brown rimmed glasses, and I’m no big Rob Bell fan, so this is only a half a point (.5)
7. Owns Puma, Vans or Diesel sneakers = +2 per each pair
Ouch…I own 2 pairs of Vans and 1 pair of Diesel’s (6 points)
8 and 9. Wears jeans on stage = +1/Wears designer jeans on stage = +2
Tag both of those on me (3 points)
12. Wears one of those Castro revolution looking hats = +2
I do own one, I wear it now and then, but never on stage (1 point instead of 2)
25. Uses the words, “postmodern, relevant” or “emergent” nonstop = +2
This one totally doesn’t apply to me……. 
(2 points)
26. Cringes a little when people say the “H word.” (Hymnal) = +3
I actually voted for one in our 11am service, but I’m still not a big fan (2 points instead of 3)
27. Has ever said some form of the phrase, “That song is so 1990s” = +1
I think I said that twice today… (1 point)
34. Has a man bag or European Carry All = +2
Yeah but mine looks cool and I got it on sale (2 points)
55. Shops at Urban Outfitters = +2
If I could afford it I would shop there, but right now my shopping there consists of the clearance bin (2 points).
Final score: 19.5 points
If you read the whole list, there is a good chunk of them that don’t apply to me. So I’m going to make the verdict that I am less metro than many if not most worship leaders. Here are some of my personal favorites that DO NOT apply to me.
2. Has more product in his hair than your wife = +1
18. Has a haircut that covers one of his eyes while singing = +1
42. Your wife ever says, “he needs a barrette for his hair.” = +2
50. Twitters you from his iPhone = +2
So how does your worship pastor score?
Does my score make me a metro?
Watercooler Wednesdays @ Ethos.
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Tyler Braun.
I’m acutally suprised you don’t like Rob Bell? I think he has some rather pointed and revolutionary things to say…
ha ha…thanks a trip love it
I would group him with other Emergent folks. I know he loves Jesus and desires for young people to hear about Jesus. I see nothing wrong with that. I just question some of his teaching methods.
haha! this is too funny.
perfect! especially your man-purse, aka. “THE MURSE”
that is so halarious! Some of those describe you quite well….and yes i would love to see how Jay will score- don’t tell him what you got though…you should just bring it up in your office…let me know what he rates.
Not a Rob Bell fan? You might like a little fun at his expense, courtesy the Wittenburg Door:
http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/getting-real-about-reality-rob-bell
I have to give credit where credit is due. Michael Sainz linked up the stuffchristianslike blog and that’s how I found it. it is HILARIOUS!!
ok I took the test. Tyler you win.
sadly….i am more metro than jay………….
so what do us girl worship leaders do? No test for us, huh? I just hope I’m more feminine than you guys……
Ahhh… good question. Where is the one for the girls?
Hilarious…metro is cool and all, if you’re a 20-something guy, worship leader or not…I draw the line at 40-50 yr old metro guys…get a life or a wife or something other than a new hair care product, please.
To funny!
excellent. I’m with jan and miranda on the girl worship leader, thing.
I just took this and scored a 59. Based on the other scores I saw, that’s really really high. But hey I’m 23, so I should be metro, right? And the hills deal, that’s all my wife. She watches it every week. But I do own 7 pairs of pumas and 3 vans. So that’s a lot of points right there.
This is absolutely hilarious.