I read the cover story from the most recent Christianity Today last week. The title was: “The Case for Early Marriage.” Provocative title to say the least, and a provocative article in a few parts. Several of my friends, including some of the other Mentoring Project interns, talked about the article with me. It was interesting to see how each person came out of reading it with a different opinion/perspective.
Here are some of the key parts to the author’s argument (written by Mark Regnerus):
“Over 90 percent of American adults experience sexual intercourse before marrying. The percentage of evangelicals who do so is not much lower. In a nationally representative study of young adults, just under 80 percent of unmarried, church-going, conservative Protestants who are currently dating someone are having sex of some sort. I’m certainly not suggesting that they cannot abstain. I’m suggesting that in the domain of sex, most of them don’t and won’t.
What to do? Intensify the abstinence message even more? No. It won’t work. The message must change, because our preoccupation with sex has unwittingly turned our attention away from the damage that Americans—including evangelicals—are doing to the institution of marriage by discouraging it and delaying it” (emphasis mine).
I heard the message all growing up.
Have a purity ceremony (which I did), wear a purity ring (did that too), give it to your spouse when you get married (yep…that one too). This is how you establish a healthy marriage that will last a lifetime.
In essence the message is:
Purity before marriage = Longevity/happiness in marriage
Is it any wonder why Christians aren’t following this line of thinking then? Because we all know the truth is that purity before marriage is just one small aspect in the effectiveness of a marriage. Sure, coming into a marriage with previous sexual relationships makes the marriage more difficult at times, no doubt about it…but it doesn’t mean your marriage will fail.
And I think this is the lie we are teaching. I fully agree that purity is a worthy cause (and something Christ desires from us), especially considering how few are following it. But if it isn’t met with solid teaching on what a Christ-honoring marriage looks like, it loses value.
Any thoughts on this and/or the article?
Check out some great thoughts and different perspectives on this article from:
Kevin from SingleChristian.org
