Don't Write For Yourself

2011 July 19

by Tyler

When I first started writing more and blogging one piece of advice I heard over and over was “before you write for anyone else, write for yourself.” And really, it makes sense. If what you are writing doesn’t first resonate within you, the chances of it doing that for others isn’t nearly as high.

So I wrote what I cared about in my free time. I wrote about sports, I wrote about some of the boring things going on in my life. And guess what? Nobody read it and even less cared.

I’ve talked with a lot of people who gave blogging a try and gave up because no one was reading. Almost all of them said they didn’t care about whether anyone read what they wrote, but eventually the endless tide of posts no one was reading won out and they quit.

There is this disconnect between the ideal of writing for yourself and the reality of needing people to read it for the writing to be fully worth the time and effort.

And here’s the thing, I think the advice to write for yourself is wrong. Completely wrong.

If that’s the end goal, to write for yourself…keep a diary and don’t let anyone read it.

If your writing is going to be read by others, you have to write for them, not you.

If you’re writing only for yourself, why share it? Why publish it in spaces where others would read it?

This is the difficult piece of writing: It must be something that first welled up within you, but also something that relates to others.

When I write, I write for you. Sure, it’s something that I cared enough to write about, but I post it because I believe it’s something that needs to be read by you. Otherwise I wouldn’t let you read it.

Don’t write for yourself.

Write for the people who will read it.

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http://www.stephindialogue.com Stephanie S. Smith

“It must be something that first welled up within you, but also something that relates to others.” I find this to be true. Because when something really strikes me, chances are it will strike others.

I just finished reading “The Writing Life” by Annie Dillard, in which she agonizes over the fact that no one but a Yale language critic understood her then-recently published “Holy the Firm.” I think part of writing for others is learning to make our wildly passionate ideas accessible for everyone. Be kind to the reader. Help them understand, draw and invite them into the beauty of your own revelation.

Thanks for writing, Tyler!
http://davidsantistevan.com David Santistevan

So true, man. I think the best writers/bloggers find their sweet spot where they’re writing for themselves AND for others. But you’re right, you’ve got to consider what your audience wants and package it in a way that will attract their attention. One way I do that is to not to use many “me” or “I” phrases, except when I’m telling personal stories.

Great post, Tyler.
http://charlielmitchell.com charlie mitchell

This is a good encouragement bruh. I havent posted on my blog for that very reason. Because i haven’t been able to decide whether the blog is for me or others. This post was definitely for me. Deuces!
http://robrash.us Rob Rash

I’m not sure I completely agree. I think it all boils down to what your goals are.

Some people want other people to read their blog and some don’t. Many people use a blog as on online diary. I don’t but many do. Jeff Goins has some great thoughts on the ‘why’s’ of writing.

There’s a difference between blogging for other’s and blogging for yourself. Just my thoughts.
http://www.manofdepravity.com Tyler

That’s cool Rob. I don’t expect everyone to agree. I’m of the mind that sharing something on the internet means you should consider who is reading it and what they need to hear. We don’t communicate into a vacuum, there are specific people and circumstances we speak into.
http://www.manofdepravity.com Tyler

Thanks for sharing that note about Dillard. I’m sure that happens more often than we think, and is what makes writing well so incredibly difficult.
http://theperkinsblog.net Michael

I read this earlier and was convicted. I have written and shared numerous times that I write for me. (sounds selfish) I started doing little devotionals that I could use as sermon illustrations and then it turned into something completely different…a community developed….

But the more I have thought about it today, the more I am leaning towards that it’s kinda both. I blog because it challenges me to grow closer to Him and grow creatively. And if I am growing in both areas, it should push others to do the same too.

Good thoughts today man.
http://gplus.to/Sovann Sovann

I think writing is just like life; it can’t be solely for myself or solely for the other. It is an I-Thou relationship; it comes out of who I am and I share it with you in a way that edifies both of us.
Even those times we think we are living for ourselves or for an audience of one we are modelling life for others, others are watching/reading us.
http://robrash.us Rob Rash

Yeah Tyler, I hear you. I’m thinking filters!
http://www.tonyjalicea.com Tony J. Alicea

I like that you explored the other side of the coin. You don’t hear a lot of people coming from this perspective.

I agree with you in part. Public writing should always be about something bigger than yourself. What is precarious about writing strictly for others is that you can lose yourself in the process.

You can become a parrot, repeating back to people what you think they want to hear. You lose your voice and your passion when all you do is cater to the masses.

So I believe it’s both. It starts with what is inside of you. Then it becomes your expression to others. But that expression has to be bigger than you and valuable to others. Otherwise, like you said, keep it in the journal.
http://ash-nits.blogspot.com ash

“I agree with you in part. Public writing should always be about something bigger than yourself. What is precarious about writing strictly for others is that you can lose yourself in the process.”

I think tony, you’re exactly right. I actually struggle with blogs that are someone’s daily diary of what they did that day. I’m not even of huge fan of “mommy blogs” – though they may serve their purpose. certainly it also takes knowing your audience – when you write something that swells up in you, knowing who wants to read it. for me, i think much of my family and my closest friends and those jonesing for my thoughts on various subject matters – and perhaps my reviews. it’s true my own blog doesn’t necessarily carry a theme like tyler’s (you write about a lot, but it also very seminary/christian theology led), but it speaks to those who want to talk about it.

fine discussion. nod.
http://www.manofdepravity.com Tyler

Absolute becoming a parrot, saying what you think people want to hear rather than what God has given you to say is a tough thing. Almost everything I post I wonder whether it is something I feel a burden to write (in a good way) or is just me writing what will get read. I guess I could have titled this “how to get people to read your blog” to do title writing like some blog “experts” think.
http://www.manofdepravity.com Tyler

That’s great Charlie, thanks a lot.
http://www.not2us.net/blog Lindsay

I was just pondering these exact thoughts this afternoon… Thanks for writing them down, so I didn’t have to!
http://www.messycanvas.com Mandy

I’m working on a book and my initial introduction said “I’m not writing this book for you, I’m writing it for me.” when my agent read it he said, “that may have been the introduction you needed to write to propel you into writing this piece, but if people are spending $10 on a book, it darn well better be for them.” needless to say, I re-wrote the intro and I learned a valuable lesson that I do like to write stuff that resonates with others.

Good thoughts here. And I love Annie Dillard.
http://www.encounteringlove.wordpress.com Rachel Rowell

I absolutely agree with your points here. It is crucial that we write things that resonate with ourselves or things we are discovering and learning while also reaching into the hearts of our readers and connecting with something in their lives. Awesome post!