It was 830pm on a Sunday night a few months back. I had been on the stage leading the band/vocals/tech for over 10 hours that day already. I was flat out exhausted. The kind of exhausted where a caffeine boost would do no good. The kind of exhausted where my eyes were starting to glaze over. Every body movement was becoming a chore.

The day was full of “the lyrics need to be changed on that slide” and “let’s end that song 4 beats earlier in the outro” and “make sure you go to an F#m chord at the beginning of the bridge or we’ll all sound like we made a mistake.” In reality none of that is much different than any other Sunday.

I put on my happy face. Often when I’m leading worship the last place I want to be is on a stage. I feel I have nothing to offer. I’m fairly confident the people could careless about the whole singing in church thing. But something usually happens in the midst of the worship. I begin to have compassion for those I’m helping lead. I begin to sense God’s presence infiltrating my life in a way that I could barely describe here.

But this day was not one of those days. Despite my best preparations, my best motives, the best energy this introverted worship leader could bring–none of it seemed to be making a difference.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m used to people staring at the screens, yawning, sitting with arms crossed, talking loudly with everyone nearby…you name it I’ve seen it while leading churches in worship. Some people make it obvious they want no part, others are more subtle.

This Sunday I remember because by 830pm I was convinced it was time to think about some other church job than worship leader. Sure I can lead bands, I can sing songs, but maybe I’d worn out my welcome with these people I thought. God can use anyone, but on this day I wondered why he wasn’t using me. I was failing.

I walked off the stage to get some water. My throat was as dry as a hot afternoon on the high desert after singing the entire day. A student came up to me that had never spoken to me before in my life. He said:

I liked that new song tonight.

That was it. Nothing more. And it was as if God had tapped me on the shoulder and said:

I’m at work underneath the surface far more than you’ll ever know or understand. Be faithful.

Is it a stretch to take the words of that student and turn them into those words from God to me? Absolutely. Is it the truth? Absolutely.

This was a student who I have never, ever seen sing along with any of the songs during our time of corporate worship. He came to our high school group gathering inconsistently at best. And yet somehow in the midst of my awful day, God was working in him to engage on a level differently than what I could see on the surface.

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I think ministry in church is often the simplicity of 25% being faithful–25% showing up–25% a willingness to serve–and 25% trusting God to do things only He can do. I tend to make it quite a bit more complicated than this. My own heart and head often get in the way and I start to listen to negative voices in my head that say it’s time to do something different.

That night I learned one valuable lesson…The biggest truths often show themselves in the smallest and subtlest of ways.

God doesn’t have to show up with a lightning bolt or a thundering roar from above for Him to be felt in the depths of my being and on this night I heard Him loud and clear.

Has a big truth shown up in a small way in your life before?

Following yesterday’s post on the same topic, I thought I’d open this up to everyone.

I’ve been working through a study on spiritual transformation and the first step in the process is to state DESIRE to God, which should help illuminate the inner thoughts of our hearts and minds that rarely come to the surface.

How would you finish the statement of…

God, what I need most from you right now is…

God, what I need most from you right now is…

Encouragement. I need to know that what I do day in and day out really matters to you and makes a difference to others. I find it so easy to dwell on my shortcomings and missteps, and it is the encouragement You give that reminds me I am not defined by my failures.

Guidance. I don’t need to know the exact destination of my life in the short term but I do need to have a sense of direction.

Wisdom. I cannot trudge through this life without the consistent and enlightening word You bring. I need the kind of wisdom that helps me to know what You’re calling me toward and what might be tempting but isn’t for me.

Blessing. I need your blessing over my family, my marriage, the ministries I serve within, the friends that bring richness to life, and the moment that will stay with me forever.

Grace. I fail consistently.

Presence. Your presence…the palpable sense of knowing You are closer than I can comprehend.

Love. So often I find Your love toward me through the circumstances and opportunities You bring into my life. And also through the loving people you’ve consistently put along my path. It’s your love that moves me closer to You, ultimately bringing me closer to the full and abundant life You desire.

Peace. My soul often reflects more of a winter storm than it does the tranquility of a spring afternoon. The peace that somehow passes understanding rarely finds its way into my body, soul, and mind. Peace is so fleeting in a world of constant change and upheaval, yet it becomes a greater and greater desire of mine knowing it is something only You can give, not something I can create for myself.

1. My friend and fellow Moody author Rhett Smith recently wrote a great article for Relevant Magazine on marriage and the struggle many of us have with what commitment in marriage truly is. He hones in on the phrase “two becoming one” to discuss how difficult it really can be, something mostly overlooked by couples who want to get married.

Whether we are married, engaged, dating or single, we are all in the process of trying to maintain our unique identity just as we have a desire for mutual belonging in a relationship. This balance of mutuality and differentiation is known in theological circles as perichoresis—or, “divine dance.”

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2. I have no shame in being a fan of golf. I watch golf just about every weekend, whether The Masters is going on or some random tournament through the golf season. I love to play golf and I love to watch golf. I even play fantasy golf against my dad, my brother, and some friends. I couldn’t have been more happy to see Bubba win last Sunday. Several years ago Bubba was known for having one of the worst tempers in golf, even worse than Tiger. Having followed him over the past few years there’s been a remarkable change, something he attributes to his faith in Jesus. Redemption is beautiful. Bubba and his wife are unable to have children and just recently adopted their first child. Bubba didn’t hang around after his victory, he got home as fast as he could.

Here’s a great article on why Bubba winning was such a great story:

The adoption process can be painful for would-be parents, hopes rise and then are dashed with cruel regularity. On March 19 they thought they had a baby and then got turned down at the last minute.

“Heartbreaking watching my wife,” he said.

They were willing but Bubba had to play that weekend at the Arnold Palmer Invitational outside Orlando. He wanted to pull out, but Angie made him stay. He finished fourth, a fine tune-up for this.

“Then Monday morning, we were down in South Florida, picking up little Caleb,” he said.

Watson began to tear up again.

“I can’t wait to get back.”

He meant it. Even during the green jacket ceremony, he kept thinking about a private jet waiting for him at the airport. He saw a helicopter and wondered if it might be about to whisk him out of Augusta National right then.

Most Masters champions want to stick around, soak up the memories and the moments and bask in the glory of what may be their greatest accomplishment.

“The thing is, golf is not my everything,” he said.

This is the most staid, traditional, secure-of-itself place in America. It changes for no one. It’s convinced it is everything.

Bubba Watson came a long way, the hard way, his own way, to get here. The guy can really play golf. He just isn’t obsessed with every last facet of the game, doing it how everyone else does, playing it safe when he should.

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3. Aaron Keyes is one of my favorite worship leaders/songwriters and he specifically writes music for local churches and worship leaders. More than that, I love his approach to music and leadership within the local church. This article he wrote on discipleship and leadership development is convicting and I think he provides a needed and overlooked perspective when it comes to raising up worship leaders within our churches.

Yes, young worship leaders need to learn how to lead a band well, but more importantly they need to learn how to lead their families well. Young songwriters need to grow in their craft, but more importantly, they need to know how to hear God. We need more than classrooms; we need discipleship of the kind we see in the lives of Jesus, Paul, and the early church.

A worship leader leads songs, but a worship pastor leads people. My hope is to see a generation of godly and gifted young worship pastors arise who could be elders in their churches. I’m praying for a movement of anointed and empowered worship pastors who would lead their churches without their musical contributions.

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Grace and Peace.

Research and analysis done by many psychologists shows that humans get an itch for significant change every 7 to 10 years. Some believe part is this is related to how our cells regenerate every 7 years. We change half of our main friendships every 7 years. Obviously all this is a bit subjective, but based on the experience of most of us, this holds true. Something about our mind is “trained” to desire significant changes almost every decade, including our jobs.

Let’s get one thing straight, church ministry jobs are more than just jobs. This doesn’t mean that pastoral jobs should be highly sought after, instead it is the reality of ministry being a lifestyle vocation more than something we punch in and out of everyday. Signing up to help lead a church is a high calling, one that should not be taken lightly. But the pastoral profession is not immune to the psychological need many of us have for change.

I’m not thinking of any specific circumstances, but I can think of many situations in which a pastor (in my mind) clearly needed to move on for the betterment of their own life and the life of their current ministry context. Sometimes this is forced by a congregation wanting change and the pastor being unable to do so. The statistics on pastoral turnover in churches is not good. Worship and youth pastors are said to change jobs every 2 years. And really all of this is centered around an unhealthy understanding of the ways God points us in new directions. What I want to focus on is change and trying to discern when transition is necessary within the church ministry context..

Every couple weeks I meet with a professor at my seminary along with a few fellow seminary students to talk life and ministry. Last week I brought up this subject of how we, as ministers, can know when God is leading us somewhere else. Everyone, at some point, will have to deal with wondering whether it’s time to go, but it seems very few are equipped to notice the cues that point us in new directions

Here are some good indications (all brought forward by my fellow seminarians) of how to know when God is saying it’s time to move on:

Is your heart in it?

Here’s the first question to ask. This isn’t the end-all, be-all question, but it does put into place whether God may be leading somewhere else. Self-evaluation through prayer and meditation is where this process must begin.

Is it just a paycheck?

Understanding the motivations of our hearts and minds in the midst of church ministry is key to knowing why we serve the church. If it’s just a paycheck we’re likely only motivated to serve because it pays our bills rather than because we’re operating exactly where God desires us to be.

However, this must be said as well…Sometimes (for a season of life) God puts us in difficult and trying situations in order to help us grow in the long run.

What has God given you a passion for? How is God directing your passions?

This goes hand in hand with the last section on change and transition. Our passions change. None of us are the same today as we were 10 years ago. It is important to continue evaluating what God is doing within us and how that affects where God is leading us. If our passions no longer fit our current position it might be time to move on.

Seek out trusted peers

All of us have blind spots and none of us have perfect perspective, so seeking out the advice and input from trusted people is incredibly vital when considering where God is leading.

Certainly we shouldn’t base a decision entirely on the advice of others but often God will use the people around us to help push us in the direction He desires. I often find the people I trust are able to articulate where I sense God moving much more than I can when I’m left to my own thoughts.

Evaluate the difference between change and transition

William Bridges’ book Transitions was a challenging read for me as I processed through how he outlines the difference between change and transition.

Change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events, but rather the inner re-orientation and self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture. Unless transition happens, the change won’t work, because it doesn’t “take” (page xii).

Pursuing after a ministry change without understanding the psychological transitions going on deep down in ourselves is a foolish thing to do.

What advice would you give to someone trying to discern whether it’s time to move on or not?

(Let me know also say I believe God often calls us to stay in difficult situations because we are apart of His solution. Ed Stetzer wrote a thoughtful and encouraging post for those considering what God is up to when He seems to be keeping us in situations that would be easy to run away from.)

Most of you will remember Scott MacIntyre from American Idol season 8 when he was the first blind contestant to become a finalist on the show. Since then Scott has gone on to release albums, tour around the world, and is now releasing a book sharing some of the more unknown parts of his story.

Last week I had the opportunity to talk with Scott about his life, his music, and how God has worked in his life despite several insurmountable circumstances.

Here’s a few pieces from my conversation with Scott MacIntyre:

Tyler: In your life you’ve had to overcome several seemingly insurmountable circumstances, what are some of the keys to how you’ve been able to overcome those?

Scott: Choosing the title of the book was one of the hardest things of the whole book writing process because you really want to give people the essence of the book. When we settled on “By Faith Not By Sight” I knew that was what it was supposed to be called because that has literally been the theme of my life. I didn’t know how I was going to learn how to play the piano if I couldn’t even see the sheet music in front of me…I didn’t know how I was going to compete in the very visual music industry without my sight. I didn’t know how I was going to connect with people on the competition of American Idol if I couldn’t even see the television cameras. I certainly didn’t know if I was going to tour again or be able to share my music when I was dealing with kidney failure and strapped to a dialysis chair 3 times a week…In the midst of the darkest times of my life I’ve had to make the choice to have faith or have nothing.

Tyler: Malcolm Gladwell talks about how it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something. I’m wondering, when you aren’t touring, how many hours to do you spend songwriting and practicing music?

It can be 14 to 18 hour days. When I was writing the book I was usually doing 14 to 18 hour days sitting at my computer writing, editing, and pouring over the manuscripts everyday, and it can be exhausting at times. Fortunately I love what I do and that’s the one thing that compels to keep moving forward. People forget that it’s fun to make music but there’s a whole business side to it and it can be very cutthroat and very grueling. It’s a constant battle to stay on people’s radar.

Listen to the entire 30 minute conversation with the audio player below where we talk about Scott beating out Lady Gaga, Scott’s encouragement for the upcoming generations of Christians, and the difficulty of being a Christian in the music industry today.

Come here to listen RSS readers.

Show Notes:

Link to Scott’s book By Faith Not By Sight on Amazon.

Link here to a special website for churches, schools, and all of you, with ways to download free mp3s from Scott and also an opportunity to have him visit your town for a private concert.

Short description of the book:

This is Scott’s story of how God used a dedicated family, a selfless acquaintance, hardship, and a host of characters to give him life, faith, determination, and experiences most can only imagine.

Peek behind the scenes to see how he learned to overcome his disability, how he made it in the music industry, how he found the love of his life, and how God taught him that in all things, we can truly achieve our dreams By Faith, Not by Sight.