Comeback
This past week Ted Haggard made his public comeback after over 2 years of relative silence. I watched him on Oprah (I know, I know…believe me, I never watch Oprah and won’t start) and on Larry King Live.
When I first heard about the HBO documentary about the past few years of his life and about all his tv appearances this week I wasn’t thrilled to say the least. In fact, I’m fairly sure what went through my head was outright judgmental. I thought things like “2 years isn’t long enough” or “why is he letting this story of sin make him money?” All those kinds of thoughts. None of them were fair or kind toward him or his family, and none of them were justified. I don’t know him, I don’t know his family, and because of that there is no reason for me to hold any sort of ill-will towards him.
In all actuality I have no idea if he made any money on the documentary or television appearances. And I actually hope he did because for over 2 years he was forced to make a living for his family doing jobs he had no experience of doing.
Some thoughts on what he had to say on Oprah and Larry King:
- I think the way New Life (his former church) has handled this is admirable.
- I commend Ted for saying he needs at least another year before he begins any kind of public speaking ministry.
- Oprah looked so stupid telling Ted’s wife Gayle that she was wrong in her opinions. Oprah if you don’t want her opinion don’t ask her questions.
- I totally agree with Ted that sexuality can be messy. Labels and categories often do not apply.
- I think Ted’s story will be an important one for evangelicals to learn from in how to deal with people who struggle with homosexual feelings and thoughts.
- I have zero opinion as to whether Ted should be a pastor again. I’ll leave those judgments to those who are closer to his life.
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Tyler Braun.
of course…
-new life church did what they needed to initially do and that was ask ted to leave.
-however, i think they were wrong to pay that kid off as hush money, i don’t believe it was “compassion” cash as quoted. nlc never has dealt with homosexuality in properly and the church at large does not deal with it openly as it should. i believe i’ve stated some comments on that in a previous post of yours.
-it’s oprah’s show, she can say what she wants and always has…yes, i’ve watched her many occasions. agree or disagree w/ her, it’s her show
-if i “feel” for anyone in this whole situation, it’s marcus and christy haggard. i grew along side them, went to camps and saw pieces of how they did or did not relate to their dad. we weren’t close friends, but i knew them and spoke with them. they’ve been through a lot and i thoroughly admire them for pulling together.
-i don’t judge ted, but i do think that he needs to con’t to focus on his family (no pun intended)…the public doc. and intv’s are a little sketchy to me, but whatever.
-i don’t think that people are born gay, but i don’t think it’s a choice either, it’s somewhere in b/t, but i can’t tell you what that looks like. i think this exp. has humbled ted. and you’re right…it’s a muddy issue.
-i con’t to pray for them always.
Tyler, I’ve thought about this whole thing from two differing perspectives:
1)What must this journey be like for his wife. As a woman it’s the first thing that leaps to mind. Included in this are my concerns for his children and their family.
2) What was it like for his staff. As a staff member who has walked through a church tragedy that was obviously less public but still extremely difficult to navigate, I know the stress it puts on the staff to “hold things together” and many times to bear the brunt of the people’s anger in the aftermath. It’s excruciating.
A few years ago I would have probably looked at both of these sides of the story with much more judgment and a feeling of “well you get what you deserve” or something. But because of what our church has gone through, when this all came out I simply sat down and cried. I felt so sorry for everyone involved. I hurt for their church, for their staff, and of course for Ted and his family. I don’t know them, but I cried and cried. I felt very heartbroken because I could relate to the exreme pain the staff at least were feeling. (our situation was of course not this at all, but the grief is still there)
Being broken yourself makes you more compassionate towards others. I’ll never view another church scandal with the same eyes or with the same heart. I pray more now, and try to encourage and help, and I don’t know that I would have reached out in the past. Yes, his actions were undoubtably wrong but I pray for God to meet him and heal him. Whether or not NLC should have given this kid money is something that I’m going to choose to believe the best about – that their intentions were pure and let’s face it – they were in a very tough spot that we’ve never known or had to navigate.
I hope Ted will continue to focus on his family, and not on fighting a public fight about this.
Ash- My statement about how New Life has handled this well comes mostly from how they’ve dealt with Ted only. Essentially they practiced church discipline with Ted. They forced him not to come back to the church and forced him to move for a period of time. Only with tv interviews to go by (which isn’t saying much), I’d say that it has been successful thus far.
In this age when wives divorce their husbands just because they forget to put the toilet seat down, it is encouraging to see that his wife stood by him through all that ordeal.
Oh I have many thoughts, but i will keep it to this. No one has the right to judge. God is his judge. God will also judge the church. I think for the most part, from my experience, churches are completely ill-equipped to deal with these situations and usually cause more pain to the fallen. They would like to think their rejection and hard nose church discipline changes the person, but I would say that it is only the Holy Spirit who restores, and people somehow find healing in spite of the pain that the church inflicts.
There is so much that could be said, however what I wish to say is the following: 1) Let him without sin be the first to cast a stone; 2) Most have no idea of the isolation of a Pastor;
3) Let those whom he has allowed to help him be the ones to guide, direct, instruct, and advise him. The rest of us, let us pray for him and for every Christian leader. 4) He needs our compassion as does his family.
tyler- the whole dealings outside of ted are now very public. a guy came out to talk about his sexual experiences w/ ted….a nlc volunteer and pastor brady has admitted to giving the guy money for college, counseling and other things– hence the reason i pointed it out. but that’s not my main focus anyhow
I just want to clarify something you said:
“In all actuality I have no idea if he made any money on the documentary or television appearances. And I actually hope he did because for over 2 years he was forced to make a living for his family doing jobs he had no experience of doing.”
New Life actually paid Haggard his 6 figure salary for one of the past two years… more than plenty for him to live on for both years. Here’s the quote from CNN:
“In a settlement with New Life, the church and Haggard agreed that he would retain his six-figure salary for a year, leave the Colorado Springs area, receive counseling and not speak publicly about what had happened for one year…”
This isn’t the point of the conversation, or even that important, I just wanted to clarify.
Thanks Michael and Ash for the clarification.