Life is Tough
This post is a part of the internet collaboration of LifeShare. Read more about it HERE and HERE.
Late last week I wrote about how I worship a God who turns the worst things into the best and I shared a story from my life. Today I want to take this a step further.
If there is one thing I get a glimpse of while working at a church, it is that there are a lot of hurting people out there. There are a lot of people going through the worst things, that have yet to experience God turning those worst things into the best things.
Let me share some of what I’m going through. I should first say…I have been blessed beyond belief. Far more than I could possibly deserve. It is probably sad that what I’m going to share is the hardest part of my life.
Every Friday I go to seminary classes all day. Mondays I spend most of the day doing homework, and I also spend a good chunk of the weekend and weeknights doing homework as well. Seminary is a huge time and focus commitment. But seminary makes me feel dumb. I’m sure many of you that read this blog think I am pretty smart. Let me apologize…because I am not. Most often trying to do homework and going to classes is a humbling experience because I am always in over my head.
For me, seminary is an absolute struggle.
Growing up as a pastors kid I was always in church, yet I never considered reading my Bible or memorizing Bible verses anything important. That same mindset carried right on through into college. I sleep walked through all of my theology and Bible classes. I pay for these mistakes every day.
I started seminary way behind everyone else in my classes. Most everyone else has lived a little more life since graduating college and most of them already have a good amount of Biblical knowledge. I do my very best to stay motivated, to work hard to learn as much as I can, but sometimes it is easy to get down on myself.
It is my hope and prayer that God can take this glaring weakness in me, and turn it into a strength over time.
In the comments I’d love for you to share one of the toughest things you are going through. I’ll make a conscience effort to pray for these stories everyday this week. Feel free to write in Anonymous as your name if you prefer for no one to know who you are.
said: 
said: 
said: 
said: 
said: 
said: 
Tyler Braun.
Thanks for sharing your story Tyler. It has been very tough over the past two years for my family and myself on our journey here in California. I was volunteering full time, the rate of living is high, and for 24 months we didn’t really know what God was doing in the midst of everything. All we knew was that he was telling us to just be obedient, no matter how crazy or frustrating it seemed.
Just in the last 8 weeks has he stepped in big time with new direction, and we are so blessed. First that He took that time to grow us so we would be ready for what was next. And secondly, that he molded us so that we would fit into this next step.
Thanks for the post!
—
Tony Steward
Online Community Pastor
LifeChurch.tv
Thank you Tyler for this post. As you know the hardest thing that I’m going through right now is the foreseeable loss of my marriage and family. It is very hard for me and the kids and at times unbearable. Thanks for your prayers this week.
PS
Your dad has been amazing!
You know my story already….
Start prayin’ bud!!!
Awesome post man, thanks for sharing that, I hope many will be encouraged by your openness. I’ll pray for you. I think I did some of the same growing up as a PK and I did not want to be a pastor, no way! I majored in Biology and stopped going to church for a bit so by the time I went to Multnomah and had to read Erickson’s and the Bible that year, that was tough for me, very big mental gear shift.
This is what I’ve been dealing with, trying to. Things are getting better, taking the time to heal from the past frees me up to focus on the present and future.
http://sovannsblog.blogspot.com/2008/09/in-memory-of-papa-turning-corner-again.html
Thanks to all of you for being open about all this. I’ll be praying for you guys.
Sean I’ll pray for you, your kids and wife. Yonas I’ll pray for you too.
Tony, praise God for your testimony.
Two things -
1) I am facing “Empty nest syndrome” next year and it makes me cry already! What will life be like without any of my precious children here in the house with me? Especially since my husband travels almost every week.
2) I am also continuing to struggle of losing so many friends that chose to leave our church. How to continue to live with an open heart towards others in the wake of that is a question I don’t have the answer for right now. I am learning and healing for sure, but it’s just not an easy or instantaneous thing to trust and put myself out there again.
Both #1 and #2 equal one thing for me = loneliness. It’s a new feeling after 23 years as a mom and a minister whose home was always filled with the laughter of friends. I’m taking steps. Today I took the day off and invited two friends to walk, shop and go to lunch. I’m having to choose to open my life to others regardless of what I’ve gone through and I’m also having to choose to work less so I can be with my family when they are here and available. A new season of life…..
@jan: sweetheart I will be praying for you. I have been there and I really understand. I actually fell into clinical depression when my son left home. It was such a hard time. But, through the grace of God & my loving husband, i made it through to the other side.
Personally: Today and the upcoming weeks are going to be tough for me. My baby brother (37), is going in for a heart cath this morning. This is in preparation for open heart surgery in a few weeks to repair a prolapsed heart valve. I do trust in God and know Brice is in His hands and I praise God that they even found this problem, with him being so young.
I mostly thank God that He is in my life. I can’t even begin to imagine not having God in my life during this season.
But, I am still fearful. We just lost my dad this past Christmas, after years of heart complications. His first massive heart attack occurred on the table during a heart cath.
I know a lot of this fear is related to my dad’s history.
I am also worried about my mom who isn’t handling this well at all.
God is good, all the time…
Thanks for letting me share…
Thanks Sov and Tyler