Maybe We Are to Blame

2010 November 04

by Tyler

In conversations I have with friends disconnected from the church, I often hear about how Christianity hates gays. I’m not saying this is true, but clearly it is the perception.

Recently the mistreatment and bullying of homosexual men and boys has been in the spotlight of the news, especially since their mistreatment has led to numerous beatings, murders, and suicides.

I honestly don’t think Christianity can take all the blame for this, that just isn’t fair at all. But, I also disagree with this CNN article from a Focus on the Family member saying Christianity isn’t to blame.

I don’t share videos on this blog too often because I know people don’t watch them and because I only like to share great videos worth your time. This is that kind of video. The fact that a government official felt compelled to take a stand on this is incredibly sad to me.

(RSS readers: If you can’t see the video come here to watch)

Back when I was in high school using the words fag, faggot, homo…all in negative ways, was extremely normal. I was no different than anyone else, I used those words in my everyday language. The people in my high school that I knew were gay or at least were thought to be gay by my friends, I did my best to treat them as poorly as possible. In my mind, they deserved to be outcasts.

I can’t tell you how much shame I feel for those years of my life; how I dealt with gays I knew and used derogatory language so freely was beyond wrong and sinful.

Perception matters. Whether the church and Christianity is guilty of driving gay mistreatment and bullying or not, the perception of its negative stance towards does matter.

I say it’s sad to me that a government official took a stand on this, because while the church may not be in agreement on whether homosexuals can be genuine believers, pastors, etc…it does have an opportunity to love and care for human beings. Where was the church in response to all the bullying in the news?

Let us be known for loving all people, not just those who fit within our system of perfect people.

(HT: AdamWC)

Filed under: church

Kurt Brandemihl

Do you believe homosexuality to be a sin? If yes than how do you think the church should respond to gays rather than bullying, mocking or even at times hating them? And I’m looking for tangible things we can do rather than stuff we shouldn’t do.
AmyE

Part of the problem for the church is that there are some incredibly vocal and visible people who call themselves Christians who ARE truly hateful towards gays and say that God hates them too, and the media loves to shine the light on them. So it is difficult for the gay community at large to have any other impression unless they have a personal relationship with a Christian who is not hateful. And then it seems to me that we have singled out homosexuality as the one sin that you have to be rid of before you can come to church and even come to Christ. We have decided that we have to be the ones to convict of sin when the Bible is pretty clear that it is the Holy Spirit that does that. I tell my kids all of the time that I don’t have all of the answers on this issue. Is it genetic or chosen? But what is clear that everyone deserves to be able to attend school in a non-threatening environment, has the right to find a place to live and work, etc. I think as a church if we are to reach out to the gay community, we need to be willing to have gay people IN our church community … so that they can hear the truth about Jesus Christ … can we handle that?… having gay couples walk hand in hand into our church? And be patient while the Holy Spirit works in their lives?
http://www.manofdepravity.com Tyler

Maybe love them? Invite them in?
http://www.manofdepravity.com Tyler

Thanks Amy. I sure hope the answers are yes.
Holly

Homosexuality is just one of MANY MANY things people do to sin listed in the Bible. You and I do many of them on a daily basis. Being judgmental is one of them! That whole tricky “no one is without sin” concept.

But Christians, at least many of the ones I know (and, yes, I am a Christian myself), spend far more time bullying, mocking, ridiculing, and in general getting worked up over homosexuals than people who…say…commit adultery, steal, or any number of other sins.

I don’t know what the answer is, but I’m sure being hateful isn’t it. Jesus wasn’t hateful to prostitutes, tax collectors, or anyone else. In fact, those are the people he *purposefully* spent his time with ministering to and loving. Can you honestly picture Jesus being OK with calling someone “faggot”, or bullying someone over their sexual orientation, or denying them access to Church? I think not.

Also, on a more personal note, it’s not just homosexuals that Christian’s attitudes keep out of the church. My husband is an atheist, and when he sees the way many Christians treat homosexuals, or anyone else they have decided is “bad”, it just reinforces his view that many Christians are hypocrites. I do all I can to counter his viewpoint, but I gotta say I’ve been undercut more times than I care to admit by fellow believers. =-(
http://www.kevindeshazo.me kevin

Good stuff. Yes, I believe homosexuality is a sin. The acceptable response? Not mocking, bullying, hating. Not persecuting, excluding, shunning. Quite simply, the response is love. Go to dinner with them. Have lunch with them. Coffee with them. Conversations with them. They are people. No more worthy of love than I am, yet loved by the Creator just as much as I am. The only adequate response is to love. Now if only I could respond that way often.

In terms of the Church. We aren’t fully responsible, but certainly bear some of the weight. Perception, sadly, is reality. We have to do a better job of loving. Society sucks at this as much as the Church does. The problem is that society doesn’t claim to be a people of love.
http://topsy.com/manofdepravity.com/2010/11/04/homosexuality-christianity-bullying/?utm_source=pingback&utm_campaign=L2 Tweets that mention Man of Depravity: Maybe We Are to Blame — Topsy.com

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tyler Braun, TheMentoringProject and Jeremy Hogan, Al Di Salvatore. Al Di Salvatore said: RT @tylerbraun New post on the mistreatment and bullying of gays, "maybe we are to blame" // http://t.co/m18kKFq //love this post! Brilliant [...]
Dana Kvernland

Tyler,
As the mother of a son who is gay, this issue has been extremely hard. Matt was bullied from an early age, starting on the school bus as a kindergarten kid. They called him every disparaging gay slur you can imagine while throwing his belongings out the window. This continued all through high school including some of his classmates writing in red fingernail polish on my van (which he was driving at the time) every slanderous word you can imagine. He had to drive the van home looking like that. For some unknown reason, Christians in general, have chosen to single out homosexuality as a sin worthy of special attention and focus. This is heard loudly by the gay community. Many in the gay community are very aware of the “church’s” views and won’t step inside of a Christian church because of it. How many of us would be willing to enter into a group of people that we perceive to be standing in judgment of us. I agree with Amy, it is the Holy Spirit’s job to do the convicting and convincing of any sin in someone’s life. Not ours. My hope is that some day Christian’s will take seriously the last words Jesus spoke at the Last Supper, “Go forth and love one another as I have loved you.” Can you imagine the consequences of us loving one another like that?
AmyE

Love you, Dana! The way you love your son and the reality of the life you live, continues to challenge me and shape the way I parent my children, especially on this topic.
http://manofdepravity.com Tyler

I totally get that this whole subject is more politically charged for many people than anything. But along the same lines of what you are saying Dana, what if Christians were known first for reaching out to the gay community? Often (including me) people who have no hate towards gays at that, a silence towards that at least doesn’t have hate in it. But, they never reach out.
Rose Braun

Dana,

Thank you for your insight and life experience on this topic. I am so sorry that your son had to go through all he did growing up. I can’t imagine how hard that was as a mother….I commend you and the way you have handled it all.

I am holding out in hope that the “christian community” can start to really take a stand and love rather than judge, encourage rather than mistreat, and accept no matter what the other person is dealing with. And it starts with me.

It’s not our job to tell anyone how to live anyway….all we were commanded to do is love Christ and love others- simple but profound. Being challenged and reminded of this all the time.
Dana Kvernland

The challenge of reaching out to the gay community at this point is the depth of the perception that Christians are out to “change” the gay person. I believe so strongly in the reality of loving a person where they are and letting the Holy Spirit do the rest. The power that love has is amazing, as you become friends with someone, regardless of their sexuality, you begin to see, love and enjoy them as a person. It is at this point that a person may be able to invite someone to join them at church. It really isn’t hard to be friends with a gay person/people. They are all around us, we just don’t realize it. I am hoping and praying for the day that it doesn’t matter what your sexuality is, that we will love and treat people with the respect and dignity that God demands of us. After all, each on of us is created in His magnificent image and God doesn’t make mistakes!!!!
Dana Kvernland

Tyler, thanks for writing on this subject. I am in a struggle with how to make a difference. My instincts tell me that their a kids all around us that may need a friendly face to help them through a tough time. I am trying to figure out how to plug into help this very group of kids. So thanks for having the guts to post a potentially controversial video!
http://www.religionsucketh.com/2010/11/07/se7en-24/ se7en | religion sucketh

[...] be working through with truth AND grace. Additionally, Tyler Braun makes a great point by writing, “Perception matters. Whether the church and Christianity is guilty of driving gay mistreatment… With that in mind, how many of us are guilty of using the word “gay” in a negative way [...]
Miranda

I had a hard time swallowing the mindset that it is “work” to show love to gay people. The bible clearly states that one sin is no worse than another. Gay people just can’t really “hide” their sinful behavior like the rest of the world. Imagine if every person in the congregation had a sign on their forehead displaying the sinful nature they were currently living in. Would everyone else be so judgemental? “Compulsive Liar… womanizer… adulturer… addicted to pornography…” the list could go on forever. These are all things people can hide easily. The previous comment about “go to coffee with them, have dinner with them” sounds condescending to me. As in, its a stretch to get near then, but we as christians “have to”. We are all sinners, just others are better at hiding it.