A New Way of Mentoring

2010 March 03

by Tyler

I often wonder if we haven’t made mentoring something far too difficult for most people.

When most people think of mentoring I believe they think of finding someone younger than them, who needs guidance, meeting with them for serious conversations over a long period of time, until they grow up.

You might say that this picture of mentoring isn’t how most people view it, but it probably isn’t far off.

And this picture, if true, is an extremely intimidating one. How many people actually think they have a lot to offer others? Not many. How many people want to sit down and have serious conversations week after week with the same person? Not many.

So maybe we’ve made this whole mentoring thing a little bit too complicated.

I saw a great artice in Portland Monthly about mentoring for baristas (coffee is big in Portland if you didn’t know). Here is how this barista mentoring program is described (read the whole article here):

“For most of us, coffee is simply a tool for paddle-shocking our brains every morning, but for a few of Portland’s 1,000 or so homeless youth, it’s a way to jump-start a career…The arrangement is simple, explains Sarah Dougher, a veteran P:ear staffer: Caffé Vita donates the coffee, equipment, and instruction while P:ear provides the space…P:ear’s eight-week-long program begins with a survey of coffees from around the world. Then students learn the intricacies of brewing coffees and espressos in the school’s tricked-out coffee cart…After graduation, alumni intern at local hot spots like Broder Cafe on SE Clinton Street to garner real-world experience and work references. ‘Being a barista should not be these kids’ last job,’ Dougher says. ‘But it can be their first.‘” (emphasis mine)

I absolutely love this. Part of me loves it because it is changing lives. Part of me loves it because of how simple and practical it is.

Too often we become intimidated about mentoring always being serious conversations (especially guys), but this program is an example of how mentoring can be accessible for anyone.

Maybe we need a new way of mentoring.

(Image: Mattox)

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http://www.benlemery.com Ben

I love mentoring, it is my passion and really the thing I live for. I never thought I would be a mentor but when God opened up the door I stuck with making it very challenging but simple.

1. I only mentor guys.
2. It is a commitment on both ends for the long term; I will stand with you if you buy into the system for your own personal growth.
3. Simplicity and consistency. If the topic is on purity, what college you are going to, if you should date a girl or not, or whatever, the questions I ask always come down to what they think about it, what they feel God is saying to them and is this the best choice they could make right now in their life? That means you don’t throw curveballs all the time but don’t let people off the hook either.
4. Goals. If they want to get to a certain point in life, putting goals in their path keeps them focused on attaining success.

Anyway, I love this topic because it is my favorite thing to do. More people need to mentor not only youth and high schoolers but if you have a college in your town, those young adults need it a great deal. They crave a big brother/parent type relationship.

Good stuff.
Melinda

Off-the-cuff-response: The barista idea is an internship relationship, rather than that of a mentorship. Both are important, however quite different in nature and outcome.

An intern is a student undergoing supervised practical training.

A mentor is a wise and trusted teacher, with the outcome being insight/wisdom in a particular focus area.
http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com Kyle Reed

You nailed it Tyler.
What I am finding in my Mentor Me Project is that the word mentoring has so many definitions when it is mentioned the two parties are thinking something different therefore it breaks down the process and it never happens.
http://www.manofdepravity.com Tyler

That is exactly my point. I know few people who consider themselves to be “wise and trusted teachers.” Why not teach someone how to make coffee and let life, relationship, and mentoring happen in the process.
http://www.geoffpfeil.com Geoff Pfeil

“Why not teach someone how to make coffee and let life, relationship, and mentoring happen in the process.”

Exactly. Well spoken Tyler.
http://www.contentunderpressure.net Josh

Letting life, relationship and mentoring happen in the process is exactly right, man. You hit the nail on the head. It’s about living life with one another.

People learn from life experiences. You can be a person of great wisdom and tell me all sorts of things. I’ll pick up on some of it, sure…but show me in real life and I’ll retain more.

Example: Teach a kid about making coffee, but show them how to have integrity.
Christine

I volunteer at p:ear and get to see this program in action. Chad from Vita is awesome with the kids and I would unequivocally call him a mentor. These kids will go on to do internships in the community, but this program is an imperative first step in getting them ready.

These kids aren’t just learning a “skill”(and I don’t just say that because this is Portland and in Portland, coffee is ART!

They’re getting the opportunity (maybe for the first time ever) to learn from an adult that’s invested in seeing them succeed (not just at coffee, but in life). Chad teaches them to take pride in doing things well. He’s encouraging as they’re learning and ecstatic when they’ve something new just right. And all the while, he is effortlessly building rapport… gaining their trust… and listening to their stories.

Some of the most meaningful conversations I’ve had at p:ear have come about as I’m propped against the cart, listening in on the day’s lesson and waiting for a practice latte. The kids are engaged and thinking about far more than how to steam milk.

In this context, they are unusually open about how they’ve gotten where they are. What’s more, they’re able to start thinking about where they’d like to go from here!