Your feeds of full of them. The guy who sits in the back of pews of your church, never sharing a word, but whose Facebook feed is full of rants and frustrations about life. The family member you see twice a decade that you can’t unfollow, but who only shares about their latest setback in a way that makes you roll your eyes.
The power of the internet is its ability to give space for people to say “me too.” It’s what led to the insane growth of social networks online. Someone else is going through your struggle. Someone else can’t see past their shame, similar to your own struggle.
Me too: the two of the most powerful words that your soul can shout.
But I’ll be honest, I don’t have much time for online over-sharers. I figure out ways to get them out of my network timelines. My eyes quickly move past anything they’ve posted. I’ve read it all from them already. Health struggles. Not enough money. One more setback.
Sure they might be “real” but I can only handle so much negativity. So I filter them out.
All the while I feel this desire for honesty, on this space and on others. I must use discretion, especially as a pastor. But I do believe in the power of “me too” and you can’t get that without being real. So I want to be real, but I don’t want to come across like them (see above).
Not knowing which direction to go I end up doing nothing. I become a robot-like being who lacks struggles, successes, humanity. I say the right things, stay quiet about the right things, but never bare the inner workings of the daily struggles and questions.
I encourage all the people around me to give others the space to bear their burdens in community, but I rarely extend that same opportunity myself.
Each of the last few years I’ve focused on one word for the coming 365 days. 2013 was foundation. 2014 was centered. 2015 is present. As our family grows from 3 to 4, I recognize that my success in life has more to do with showing up that it does with excellence.
In the process of being present, and choosing to show up, I’m also making a choice to take down the facade. Easier said than done as a pastor. Many things are left behind the veil because godly wisdom keeps them as such. But exposure to the dark places, the difficult spaces, the struggle of humanity, is vital for actually being present. As Mark Hall wrote in his song Broken Together: “If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine, could healing still be spoken and save us?”
Truly being present means welcoming the shared brokenness of humanity and finding hope in bearing burdens. Thanks to all of you over-sharers for giving the chance for others to bear your burdens. I’m following your lead.
