This morning I led worship at Sunset for both the 9am and 11am services. We had zero overlap of songs between the two services, which made for a lot of work for the band. Here are the sets:
- With All I Am (D)
- Fairest Lord Jesus (Passion arrangement, B to Db)
- You Are the One (E)
- Everlasting God (Bb, Tomlin)
- Joyful, Joyful (Charlie Hall arrangement, E)
- Holy is the Lord (G)
- Stronger (Bb)
- Reign in Us (A)
- Everlasting God (B, Brewster)
- The Same Power (B)
- Cannons (E)
Some somewhat unfiltered thoughts:
I doubt you would know it, but Thursday night was a rough practice for us. It was one of those practices where one thing led to the next, to the next, and we never got out of that rut until the end of practice. I have almost no clue how or why those nights happen, but I am happy to report that today was much better.
I’m my worst critic, so inevitably I thought everything went just ok. I hadn’t felt this anxious about leading in a long time (evidence of that), and I don’t think that ended up helping at all. After all my anxiety about leading the 9am, I actually thought it went better than the 11am. My prayer in the 11am was confusing to me, so I imagine it didn’t make sense to anyone else either. I actually completely forgot that I needed to pray there. We tried to do announcements at the top of the service to create a larger block of time for music, but the jury is still out on whether that is effective.
I’m sure the morning came off better than it felt to me. I felt lost, a maze of a million thoughts. I get used to leading the band only, so when I lead the morning of worship my amount of responsibility goes up ten fold. What is weird is that I put more time and thought into this weekend than I ever have, and in the end I walked away feeling like we didn’t hit a home run (that is always my goal, though likely unrealistic).
I don’t want to judge “how it went” by the outward worship of people, but I do think it can play a role. During the biggest song in the 11am I didn’t ask people to sit or stand, and 90% sat. I don’t like to ask people to sit and stand, because to me it would make the most sense for people to do so when feeling led. But, seeing everyone sit and stare at us when we’re pouring our hearts into the song is tough.
A humbling morning. I say humbling because I think I’ve expected myself to be able to hit “home runs” on Sunday mornings. And today, for me, it didn’t happen.
After posting thought: Hmm…this sounds overly negative. I guess that is what you get from unfiltered thoughts sometimes.